The higher the score, the better the city is for getting lucky. We also limited our results to cities with populations over 5, people. For New Hampshire, that meant a total of 22 cities. The population was 14, at the census. Durham is home to the University of New Hampshire. The population was 23, at the census. It is the seat of Cheshire County.
Hookup Culture: The Unspoken Rules Of Sex On College Campuses
The population was 11, at the census. CNN and Money magazine rated Hanover the sixth best place to live in America in , and the second best in It is the only city in the county, but only the fourth-largest community, with a population of 21, at the census. As of the estimated population was 21, The population was 15, at the census, and an estimated 16, as of It is the county seat of Belknap County.
The population was 13, at the census and an estimated 13, as of The population was 13, at the census.
Manchester is the most populous city in the U. As of the census, the city had a population of ,, and its estimated population was , Manchester is located near the northern end of the Northeast megalopolis, along the banks of the Merrimack River-which divides the city into eastern and western sections. It was first named by the merchant and inventor Samuel Blodgett. Exeter was the county seat until , when county offices were moved to neighboring Brentwood. Home to the Phillips Exeter Academy, a private university-preparatory school, Exeter is situated where the Exeter River feeds the tidal Squamscott River.
If casual sex was taboo a generation ago, emotional intimacy has become taboo today. It's something to be explored in secret, maybe even something to be ashamed about. I think it feels bad to be used. But I think the alternative is that nobody wants to use you. And I think that that's worse.
Hookup Culture: The Unspoken Rules Of Sex On College Campuses | New Hampshire Public Radio
Lisa Wade is a sociologist at Occidental College. In her book "American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus," Lisa interviews college students and finds that hookup culture has a complex set of social rules. She says these rules threaten the emotional well-being of students, those who embrace the culture and those who want nothing to do with it. Lisa, thanks for joining me on Hidden Brain today. We spoke with several students in your book, Lisa, and we're going to hear from them in this conversation.
One of the things that kept coming up was that there's no one definition of what hooking up actually is. It can mean a variety of things, from making out to having sex. But for all the ambiguity, there does seem to be a clear set of guidelines when it comes to how students should hookup. You know, it's funny because the ideology around hookups is that they're supposed to be spontaneous. And the fact is that there's a pretty rigid set of rules for how hookups happen.
Many of them, probably most of them, start at parties where there's drinking. And the way to initiate it is through dancing. And so usually in these heterosexual encounters, women will initiate the dancing by going into the middle of the dance floor and then in a very sort of gender traditional way, hope that someone picks her and comes up along behind her. Sometimes the woman doesn't even know who is behind her, which creates a conundrum because part of hooking up is trying to hook up with people that your friends approve of and think are, like, a good catch.
And so often she's dancing, someone comes up behind her and then what she'll do is she'll look across the circle to one of her girlfriends and try to get some indication as to whether or not she should continue. Let's talk some more about this idea that hookups are a way to win the approval of your friends.
You're saying that some hookups move you up the social pecking order and others move you down? Hookups are decidedly not about finding any sort of romantic connection and suggesting that it should be or that one is doing it for that reason is tantamount to breaking a social rule. They're often not so much about pleasure in particular for women. They're very much about status. So the idea is to be able to brag about or having sort of gotten someone who other people might also wish they could have gotten.
So it's all about being able to say, I got that guy over there or that person that everyone's looking for, I managed to be the one who hooked up with him tonight. One of the unspoken rules you talk about in "Hookup Culture" is that it's really important that the hookup be meaningless. One of the young men we spoke with described a situation that almost seems Kafkaesque.
We really liked each other, but she would not have sex with me. But I also knew that she was hooking up with someone. And this was such a confusing concept, which is that people will have sex with people that they don't like but won't have sex with people that they do like.
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And, of course, what this young man is saying, he can't understand why this young woman who likes him and that he likes is having sex with someone else whom she doesn't like but won't have sex with him. What the students are confronted with is this artificial binary between careless and careful sex. On the one hand, we have this idea that when we get into romantic relationships, we're supposed to be loving and kind. And the sex that happens in those kinds of relationships is very committed. And on the other hand, we have this concept of casual sex, which is the opposite of that.
And that means that all of the kindnesses that go along with romantic relationships are considered off script once casual sex is on the table.
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So if two students are going to hook up together and they want it to be meaningless, then they have to do some work to make sure that both they and everyone else understands that we're over in this meaningless camp and not this powerfully meaningful one. And so to sort of convince themselves and other people or to show themselves and other people that it was meaningless, they have to find a way to perform meaningless.
And they do that by, for example, making sure that they're drunk or they appear to be drunk when they hook up. So my students actually speak in pretty hushed tones about sober sex. Sober sex is very serious. But if the students have been drinking, then that helps send the message that it's meaningless.
Another way is to make sure that they don't hook up with the same person very many times. So if they really don't like the person in a romantic way, just hook up once, maybe twice and then cut it off. And then the third thing they have to do to try to establish this meaninglessness is to sort of give that person a demotion in their lives afterward.
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The idea that it's meaningless means that we're also not supposed to care about that person at all and in any way. You talk in the book about how even though, you know, talk about hookups is ubiquitous on college campuses, that doesn't necessarily reflect how much of it is actually going on. So there's a lot of consternation about the students' sexual activity. But it turns out that they are no more sexually active by most measures than their parents were at their age.
The average graduating senior has hooked up eight times in four years. So that's once a semester.
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And half of those hookups are with someone they've hooked up with before. And in fact, about a third of students won't hook up even a single time their entire college career. But that doesn't mean that they're not surrounded by these really powerful ideas about what they should be doing. And it doesn't mean that they can change how their peers interact with them or the way in which higher education works.
So even though campus hookup culture might actually be something that is endorsed by a relatively small number of people who are enthusiasts, one of the points you make is that these are people who often come from groups who have traditionally had a lot of power and privilege in society. About 15 percent of students really, really, truly enjoy hookup culture. It gives them exactly what they want out of college.
And studies show that if you ask those students - and they're the students that are hooking up the most - if you ask them if they're having a good time, they say, yes. And I believe them. About a third of students are completely opted out. The rest of the students are somewhere in the middle, and they're ambivalent about the idea of casual sex.
But if you look at the students who enjoy hookup culture the most, those students are disproportionately going to be heterosexual, white, come from an upper middle class or wealthy background.