Some of the most complicated relationships in life can be those we actually choose: Unlike our relationships with parents or siblings or cousins and so on — we actually seek out and are selective about those with whom we are romantic. Somehow, however, those relationships can take the most work. One factor that can throw the biggest loop in a marriage or long-term relationships is drug or alcohol addiction.
Anyone who has been married or in a committed relationship with a person who is addicted knows, without a doubt, that addiction is destructive. Addiction in a marriage: In a marriage, the drug of choice may vary — alcohol, illicit drugs such as heroin or cocaine, or prescription drugs like Xanax or OxyContin. Regardless of the drug or drink a person is addicted to, the pursuit of the substance can eventually come before all else.
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- Things You Only Know If Your Boyfriend Does Loads Of Coke And You Don't.
When a person is addicted, he or she will choose drugs or alcohol before their marriage, before their partner, before their children — before anything. When a spouse or partner is actively addicted, it can be difficult to recognize or remember the person you fell in love with. While it may take years to figure out what is really going on, there can be numerous problems along the way.
You're afraid of him turning to harder things, that makes me think you kinda underestimate a daily coke habit. This is coming from someone with no first hand experience with coke so take this with a grain of salt. It sounds like he abuses coke.
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Even though it doesn't affect his job if he is a near daily user he is probably addicted. It's fine now that he has a job but if shit hits the fan would he make his priorities paying the rent or getting coke? I have been with my wife for seven years, since high school. She has always been ok with my drug use because i am respectful about it and she knows i am responsible. She looks forwsrd to my weekend meth binges now because we always have a blast together, and rarely she even joins in. If he puts you in uncomfortable situstions or isnt respectful with his use, i wouldnt stick around.
Hey, I consider someone reasonably into drugs to be at your level. Drugs are viewed healthily if they're something that enhances an experience, not something that is required to have an experience. Now, he may be all good and well, but there is such a thing as a high functioning abuse problem. Coke daily isn't a good thing. It really isn't about how into drugs either of you are, it's really that he may have a dependency on a drug to feel himself, and that is bad to him and unfair to you.
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If you want to help him, help him, but I, like many others here, recommend you do it at a friend level. He may have a lot of issues that the coke helps him forget. Drugs are fine, and I think your view isn't the wrong or right, differing or dividing, or smart or not smart decision, but it is the healthier one. This is not how someone who really cares about their relationship would treat their spouse. The "understanding" bit was a bit of a stretch. Being "into drug culture" and using cocaine near daily are two very different things.
Not that I have anything personally bad to say about his person as I do not know him and am certainly not against drug use, but someone who equates somebody selling all of their belongings for drugs to be being "down on his luck" definitely does not understand how bad things can get in an addicts head. That person has a real problem, and the fact that this guy is trying to justify that so easily, I feel, is a huge red flag. Near daily coke habit If it's pure shit that's not necessarily bad, just expensive and perhaps annoying.
I personally wouldn't go for it. There's a lot of downsides to that level of dependence and very few upsides. It's up to you of course and things will run their course surely, you can always try. Coke is one of the few drugs where long term abuse does not harm the body all that much. It's definitely bad of course, but it's manageable.
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It elevates your heart rate, sure. To say it 'wrecks' it is in itself quite a stretch. It's really not that terrible when compared to other stimulants. Of course, going without is better. But it's really not as bad as most people think. Amphetamines cause more oxidative stress on the brain but coke blocks sodium channels and puts a huge strain on the heart.
Cocaine changes addict's brains so they can't recognise loss
I didn't know that. That's stupid of me I thought it was relatively harmless. I mean using it a few times a year wont hurt most people, its easier on the body than say, MDMA, if you have heart problems its liable to give you a heart attack though, as well as with heavy use. It's not the actual elevation of heart rate that makes it bad. I don't know what is, but that would make exercise bad for you. It elevates your risk of heart failure a lot, even with moderate use. Abuse is devastating in the long run. Here's the brutally honest truth.
Drugs will always be more important to him. You have decide if being 2nd to drugs is good enough for you. I'd be willing to bet you much more value than that. Since you are here asking this question, I think you know that to be true as well.
At some point your going to have to tell him it's you or the drugs. Don't be shocked when he chooses the drugs. You just dropped the exact reason why I'm not the ideal relationship candidate for anyone haha. Not talking about myself Ditto so hard, honestly. Surely there's someone willing to tolerate coming second to the obsession.
But that is a very difficult deal to make. If he's using coke everyday he's addicted or he's going to be very soon. Ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with a drug addict. And just remember, you can never trust an addict.
They will lie to you to get their way. It's not necessarily the person, it's the addiction that takes over their brain.
You seem pretty cool, most people wouldn't go to the lengths of actually making an effort to understand one's SO drug habits like you do. For me, your bf sounds like a reasonable guy. While he does drugs on a regular basis he seems to have his shit together and pays his bills. I also think it'S a good character trait to look after ones friends even if they are down on their luck, and to let friends sleep on the couch if they have no place to stay. Imho, I would stay with him but be on the lookout for indicators that his drug habits are getting worse.
But from the sound of it he has himself under control and at the moment there is no reason to break up with him.